狂乱家族日記
Diary of The Frenzy Family
Name: Wee Wei Jie Elson
Nicknames: eL, Ikai
el_wave@hotmail.com
North view Primary, ACS Barker Road, Singapore sports school, ACS Independent, Ngee Ann Poly
Hobbies: reading mange, watching anime, swimming, sleeping
狂乱日記
Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 6/24/2008 10:16:00 PM
So freaking bored... so many problems have arise, problems that relate to my past... why does it have to keep coming back to haunt me whenever I finally begin to enjoy myself... It is as if I am not allowed to enjoy myself... Feeling confused between both hatred of the past and hatred of the present... I just dont know what to do with it anymore... everything seems so confusing... I want everything to end but nothing is ending... instead more and more things are starting... I am always encouraging people and advising people with many different things but weird enough the advices given even though it is said by me, I cannot execute it myself... My feelings, my emotions cannot be expressed out properly... I just want to give everything up already... No reason to continuing it...Elson phrases
Life is represented by journey
Journey is represented by Living
Walk on in life as a journey to prove that you are living
Half way through the journey
you will find out burdens are heavy
That is how life goes on
Sometimes to protect, those you love
your hands must be stained with blood
Will you still seek for power?
Dying is not as scary as being treated not existed
when died, people will keep you in their hearts
When existence is denied, no one will notice you are there
That is the painful part
Not able to express true feelings and emotions is very tiring
People always regret whenever they did not get a chance to express it
So should I live in a life full of regrets or a life full of no regrets?
That itself is also a very tough question
Scared of rejection, scared of being hurted
All sort of fear comes out when it comes to expressing
No one is able to escape this endless cycle of regreting and fearing
Courage and help is needed in order to escape from this cycle
Both hating and being hated is very tiring,
but no one cannot help but to hate the person they despised
hate cannot be forgotten, cannot be lost
even after a long time, hate is still there
Even so, I still want to forget it, I still want it to be lost
How can I do that... I seriously do not know